Why Johnny B. Good?

Among the things for which I have always been most grateful in my relationship with my mother over the year is that, throughout my childhood, she took my questions seriously and engaged with them honestly.

Many of these questions involved religion and Christianity, because, although my father was an atheist (though he didn't make a big deal about it), my mother grew up going to church, and spent much of her professional life studying and writing about church history and doctrine, theology, and of course the Bible itself. I considered (and continue to consider) her an absolute authority, and while she has always certainly been able to explain to me what various theologians and experts have concluded on one subject or another, in general she does me the honor of considering my questions carefully before telling me what she thinks. 

There are numerous examples of this, but the one that comes to mind this afternoon involved me taking her stated belief that everyone gets into heaven — that God does not play favorites with His children — seriously, by asking her, as a teenager, why, then, at least insofar as God is concerned, "we should be good." I wasn't asking about ethics. I was asking about ... our spiritual health. Our immortal souls. Heaven. This was a serious question — not a challenge — and she took it as such.

She paused, and thought for a second. And she said, "I think we kind of just ... are what we are." I don't remember her exact explication of that, but what I remember, more or less, is the suggestion that ... we grow up exposed to different stimuli, different circumstances — in different families, in different places, and in different cultures, and with different brains, different intellects, and different functionings including differing degrees of mental health. We all have stories in our heads in which we're the hero, and we're all doing the best we can. So that, ultimately, with all that in mind, trying to distinguish between "good" and "bad" people is absurd — is an act of ego, of sanctimony, and (often) of cultural arrogance.

I think — and now I am putting words in her mouth — she would agree, of course, that there are good or bad acts, and probably that if we want to characterize people who commit a certain amount or kind of bad acts as themselves "bad" we certainly can. But that that definition has nothing to do with whom God loves or who gets into Heaven.

I'm getting off-subject. The point is, she took my question seriously, thought about her answer, avoided cliche, and engaged with me, respecting me and my intelligence enough to engage with me not just as an adult, but as a thinker. Thanks, Mom.